Back Issues, COVID-19, Civil Unrest, and a story of humanity

Last week I was kicking the soccer ball around with the kids and managed to slip a disc in my back which ultimately resulted in an ambulance trip and a hospital visit for two days. This post isn't about me, though, it's about a nurse that I met while being cared for.

I spent one night in an emergency room hooked up to pain medication where I spent most of my time watching the crazy chaotic scenes happening on TV and reading new articles on my phone. There wasn't too much sleep to be had between the pain in my back and the heart rate monitor constantly going off because my heart rate consistently went below 50 bpm (with a low of 42 bpm). Apparently that's not a huge concern for athletes. Did you know that you can drop your blood pressure during a BP test simply by relaxing and meditating? The second day, I was moved up to the 5th floor with a more private room where I did pretty much the same thing as before, but free from the sounds of the other patients experiencing their own degrees of agony. I met many nurses come and go through their shifts, but it was Mimi who I will always remember.

Mimi was my last nurse I met during my stay and she explained that the 5th floor had just been cleared out of COVID-19 patients the day before. The cleaning staff had just gone through and thoroughly cleaned every inch of each room. I was assured that I wouldn't have to wear a mask even though every employee at the hospital had to. The previous day I had the joy of experiencing a COVID test which includes having a slim, long cotton swab shoved up both nostrils until they practically reach the back of your skull. Not the most joyous feeling especially after being poked by at least five needles at the same time dealing with my screaming back.

Every single hospital room on that floor had a hole cut out of the window where a vent had been installed so fresh air from outside was circulated through the room rather than using the centralized HVAC. This was to ensure no other parts of the hospital would be exposed to the rooms where COVID-19 patients resided.

Mimi explained all of this to me when I brought it up. I have come to realize during our time in the pandemic how much I rely upon being able to see people's mouths when they speak. It becomes especially challenging when someone has a thick accent which happened to be the case with the majority of the nurses at the hospital. It is funny for me to say that the majority of the nurses who tended to me were minorities and English was a second language. Please note that I could care less as they were all wonderful and it really forced me to focus on what they were telling me in order to make sure I understood.

After Mimi gave some insight about the 5th floor and that there was nothing to worry about, I asked her how she was holding up caring for COVID-19 patients. This is where she paused to reflect a bit and I could immediately tell this was a challenging subject to talk about. She told me the hardest thing was sitting with a patient who was terminal and providing comfort without being able to convey optimism short of praying for a miracle. Even the comfort she could offer was minimized due to the fact that nurses aren't allowed to hug or hold COVID patients. It tore her apart knowing that family members can't be present to comfort. This puts such a huge burden on nurses. Many times after Mimi's shift was over she would have to go home, isolate herself from her family, and simply cry alone in a room. My heart was breaking and I told her so. She teared up and I teared up. I'm tearing up just writing this. She told me the only way to avoid these scenarios is to isolate and mask up. Please take this to heart, my friends!

Even though Mimi has had some gut-wrenching days she always knew that nursing was her calling. It was at this point in our conversation, she shared with me her amazing story.

Mimi was born in Ethiopia to a well-off family, but left her home at age 16 due to civil unrest. I'm not sure if it was unrest in her house, community or entire country, but she got out and made her way to Egypt where she got a job working for a rich German woman as a house cleaner. Even though the woman and her husband were extremely well off, they treated there workers extremely poorly. Mimi was given only a few utensils to eat all of her meals with and was forced to sleep on the hard floor. Her breaking point was when the husband attempted to rape her and the woman turned a blind eye to it all. Mimi packed up all of her belongings in a plastic garbage bag and pretended to be taking out the garbage, but instead ran away. In the process she managed to get a few scraps of paper which she used to write down that she was looking for work as a house keeper and began handing them out to strangers. Her saving grace was an American man who agreed to hire her. She worked hard for the American and soon developed a good reputation as a hard worker. The American worked at the embassy in Egypt and unfortunately had to leave the country, but not before recommending Mimi to other Americans at the embassy so she could continue to work.

At some point she was able to save up enough money and move to the United States where she could finally realize her calling of becoming a nurse. To this day, she still keeps in touch with the American who helped her out. Mimi met her husband (who is also from Ethiopia) in America. He is an electrical engineer and is also an American military veteran. Apparently her husband was so grateful to become a US citizen that he joined the Armed Forces to give back to his adopted country. Wow.

Mimi, her husband, and her two children (age 4 &6) live on Beacon Hill just south of downtown Seattle. If you're not in awe of this woman yet, Mimi also runs an assisted living facility where she is the primary medical operator. She only accepts Medicaid for her services since many of her residents are below the poverty line. One of her residents used to be homeless for many years before he moved in.

I could not hold back telling Mimi what a wonderful human being she was especially with all she has gone through and is going through. Her response was "America has been so good to me and given me so much opportunity to realize my dreams. The least that I can do is give back." What a truly amazing human being.

I started thinking about all of the protests around the world that are going right now in support of the protests here in the United States around racial injustice. Why are other country's citizens upset about our problems? Why do they care about the United States especially when we have become so isolated the past few years? It dawned on me that stories like Mimi's may not be all that unique. The United States is still viewed as the 'city on the hill' to many people throughout the world. We definitely have problems (especially now), but there are so many countries that are so much worse off in how their citizens are treated. Even though we're not perfect the United States continues to set an example for the rest of the world around democracy, freedom of speech, freedom to protest, and the ability for citizens to rise up peacefully in order to force change. Many countries don't afford that luxury.

How to Manage a Career Change (after age 40+): Part II - The Rationale

So here's the thing:  I never had a strong ambition to change my career.  As I mentioned before, I was relatively good at what I was doing as an Information Technology Project Manager and certainly had the experience to qualify for new positions that I might apply for.  The money is certainly nice and there are some really good professional challenges and rewards for following that path, but it can also be very stressful.  Yes I know - like most jobs, dumbass!  The problem for me was that there were too many degrees of separation from those who actually benefited from the end result and what my team had actually accomplished after deploying a new tool or process.

OMG - I can almost physically see some of you blinking heavily and thinking about shutting this post down!  Thanks for the buzz words, Brian!  The buzz sounds like a saw cutting through wood as I slowly fall asleep...  I apologize.  Sometimes a backstory is important.  Back off.

WHAT THE HELL AM I GOOD AT + HOW CAN I MAKE A POSITIVE IMPACT ON SOCIETY!!!!

These were ultimately the words that were screaming through my head on a daily basis which started
as a gentle buzz to a bad case of Tinnitus after the 2016 presidential election.  I have to admit that the election of Donald Trump to the highest office in America had a profound impact on me and solidified my stance on a lot of issues and values.  There was a fundamental sadness and anger that I felt on November 9th, 2016.  I'm not afraid to admit these feelings even if it will alienate some friends, acquaintances and relatives.  At this point, I don't care.  I know in my heart what human decency is and I now know what it isn't.  How can someone so profoundly awful be elevated to the highest office in the country and become the most powerful person in the world of 7.7 billion people?  Why did this happen?  What is my role in why this happened?  What am I missing?

When I have experienced a severe mistake in which I have made, I either sunk deeply into my own melancholy and eventually pulled myself out in due time or I actually do some self reflection on what transpired, decide if I had any control over the situation, if I could have handled things better, and if I could have acted upon it.  The former is a process for coping and the latter is a process for learning.  I may be way off on this assessment as I'm certainly not the smartest person, but it's how I manage mistakes.  The results of the 2016 election was such a heartbreak for me, because I felt like the better candidate did not win and I knew the winner would have such a negative impact on America.  This got me thinking about me station in life and if I was contributing to the problem rather than the solution.

Being comfortable in life is a nice feeling.  I've got it made!  Steady income, nice house, two reliable vehicles, a retirement fund, etc. etc.  I started realizing through my work at Girl Scouts that there are SO many people in my town, city, region, state, country and world that are not well off without any reason beyond not being born in the right situation or the right skin color.  But, why should I care?  I'm a white, middle aged male who can sell himself and prosper no matter what.  Well educated, well spoken, affable, etc.  Shouldn't I just continue to try and make more money for the sake of making more money?  Isn't the ultimate goal to work, raise kids, and then be able to retire on the money you have earned throughout your working years?

It dawned on me after having an intimate conversation this past summer with my childhood friend, David H, that your ultimate legacy is what experiences and lessons you leave behind for your loved ones.  What do your loved ones want to remember you for and pass on to their children or loved ones?  Holy shit.  It's that simple.  Why do my strengths and skills always have to be translated into maximizing how much I earn?  Now, I am definitely self aware as an upper middle class white male that not everyone has the opportunity to take advantage of this self reflection.  There are so many people with extraordinary talents that cannot realize their potential whether it be due to debt, drug addiction, past transgressions, skin color, etc.  I get it.  OK - how do I maximize my self-worth at the same time create a lasting legacy for my children while also helping humanity so we don't re-elect an abomination of a human in Donald Trump?  No problem, right?!

A seed was planted in my head.  A very slow sprouting seed that required months and months of nurture.  My Aunt Janet tried to tell me that I would make a good teacher after we visited her this past summer in Washington D.C. while on Epic Summer Trip 2019.  She mentioned that her son (my cousin who works for the federal government) while he was fur-lowed during the government shutdown last spring, volunteered as a substitute teacher.  Why don't you do the same thing, Brian?  Apparently my mom had told me decades ago that I would make a good teacher, but I had disregarded it because I thought I had more grandiose plans for my life.  "Yes, teaching is certainly noble, but it is beneath my talent, mother.", I probably thought at the time.  I knew that I had an innate talent for engaging children (and adults for that matter) in complex concepts and breaking those concepts down into relate-able ideas where I could get the light bulb to shine above their head.   With a natural sprinkling of humor and a dash of charisma, it's just not hard for me to do.  The feedback from others started trickling in even if it was second or third hand. Unsolicited feedback from at least one degree of separation if you're removed from the conversation can make a world of difference on how you perceive yourself.  You don't always get completely honest feedback when you're the one asking for feedback.

I reached out to one of the founding father's of Starbucks, Howard Behar, via LinkedIn after the kids and I had completed our cross country trip this summer.  I was struggling.  What should I do?  There were signs pointing me in a the direction of teaching, but there was also this pull to stay on an entrepreneurial track with a potential focus on humanity.  Howard and I spoke about my professional history and my interests, etc.  Ultimately, it came down to the stupid Nike slogan of "Just Do It".  He asked me, "If it's something that you think you're good at and it fulfills the boxes in which you'll be happy, why are you trying to find excuses not to do it?"  It was definitely a catalyst, but there was still a lot of self doubt.  Aren't I destined for something greater?  Shouldn't there be a company or street named after me?  Why am I currently chasing some sort of award? 

I finally convinced myself that teaching (specifically elementary children 4-6 grade) was the right direction.  The reasons are as follows:

1. I love engaging children where they can learn and have fun at the same time.  I cannot count the number of times I have simply made up rules for a game with kids simply to have fun.  I can become the referee and coach at the same time!  Teaching isn't just learning the facts, it's about applying those facts so you understand why they're applicable in daily life.  When you can provide rules that everyone agrees upon and test those rules in simulated scenarios you never know what will happen.  Maybe the rules are broken.  Maybe the rules get changed because they're unfair!  Who knows!!!  At least we're learning and thinking critically, right?  
2. My son is now 11 years old.  I realized that he was finally understanding complex concepts which created a much more enriching dialog between the two of us.  We were finally having robust conversations about soccer and other activities which were very stimulating for both of us.  I talked to his principal about it and he completely agreed that that age was precisely the point where cognitive thought increases exponentially.  Yes - I'm not making this up!
3. Looking into secondary education (8-12th grade), I didn't want to lock myself into a singular subject.  Maybe that will grow in time, but I need some space to really discover what I would be passionate about teaching my students.   I love the fact that I could teach multiple subjects.  Honestly, if I had to chose it would be civics/social science/economics/history.  We need more children to understand humanity and equity based on today's current political climate.  This brings me to the next reason of why I felt like being a teacher is important.
4. I am ashamed that more than 30% of the population in the USA will follow Donald Trump off of a cliff.  There is a severe lack of empathy, critical thinking, and education in our country that can only be remedied through quality education.  I am in no way saying that today's teachers are the fault of this calamity, but I can see that there is a shortage in our society to make sure an educated population makes decisions based on sound information and an ability to think based on knowledge rather than prejudice.
5. Finally, I broke the news to my dad who was a civics/history/social studies/current events teacher for his entire career.  I explained all of the reasons above about why I should be pursuing this career and he said, "What took you so long?"   Do I seriously need any other reason than getting approval from my own dad who made a career out of it?

Now, I have no silver bullet to figuring out this whole "career" thing.  God knows, I certainly didn't do it the right way.  Ultimately, it boils down to what you're good at, what makes you feel self-fulfilled, what you can be proud of, what is good for humanity, and what do you want to be remember for from the loved ones that you leave behind.

How to Manage a Career Change - Part I

I've decided to dust off the ol' blog that I mainly started as a journal for documenting the family's Epic Summer Trip 2019.  It may have a different feel going forward, because I want to use this space as a way of sharing the process I'm going through for realizing my complete right turn in career direction.  Hopefully this writing may benefit those that have the audacity to think about a career change and learn from what I have learned and avoid the pitfalls that I have or may encounter.  A career change appears to be a scary, unnecessary risk in an otherwise comfortable life that includes decent and stable incomes from both spouses, well adjusted adolescent children that behave relatively well, a nice house with equity, decent retirement funds, and a relatively good marriage.  Why would anyone in that life 'rock the boat', so-to-speak?  Well, let me start at the beginning...

I graduated with a college bachelor's degree from Bucknell University back in 1998 majoring in Economics and Studio Art.  Those were my majors on paper, but in reality my degree was a Bachelor's of Not-Moving-Back-In-With-My Parents.  The day I graduated from college I received a phone call from my Uncle Paul who was a biologist working for the Idaho Fish and Game department letting me know that there was an opening for a temporary position (3 months) working on a WMA (Wildlife Management Area) to basically manage 1500 acres of land in south central Idaho where I would be spraying noxious weeds and growing cover crop for wildlife at the base of a canyon that had a creek running through it.  The property had a ranch house in which I would stay and a couple neighbors within a 1/2 mile.  Other than that, there was no one around for many miles.

Now, the only reason I got this job is that someone backed out at the last minute and the Jerome, ID office needed someone right away for the summer.  Uncle Paul reached out to me and told me to apply and gave me the information of the hiring manager.  This was probably the greatest graduation gift that I could have received.  Not only do I not have to move back in with my parents, but I'm also 2200 miles away from them!  Thankfully, my parents understood my "true" bachelor's degree and bought me a 4-banger 1994 Ford Ranger from the local car dealership (which happened to be my old high school soccer coach's truck) five days after graduation and sent me off with my grandfather (mom's dad) to keep me company and help pay for hotel stops.  We made it out to Blackfoot, ID with only one near accident (ironically in Blackfoot) and only one hearing aid battery change.  I wasn't responsible for the former, but had to perform the latter.

Thus began my adventures and life in the PAC-NW (Pacific Northwest for those reading along from the right coast).  I could go on and on about my three month stint working for Fish and Game or my subsequent time living in Sun Valley, ID working for the resort as a night auditor, but this is a blog and not a novella.  It's the back story that's important so someone may understand where I went wrong or where I went right!

I arrived in Seattle in early November of 1999 on a dreary Saturday afternoon.  The only person I knew was my buddy Shawn who persuaded me to come out to Seattle after he had gotten a job working for Oak Harbor Freight.  Shawn and I were co-workers at Sun Valley and enjoyed a beautiful love-hate relationship.  We enjoyed hanging out, but he loved to push my buttons!  I had all of my possessions in the back of my truck, no housing other than sleeping on Shawn's apartment floor, no job, and knew no one other than Shawn.  The following Monday, I went to a temp agency looking for a job.  The temp agency placed me at this up-and-coming company in the SoDo (South of Downtown) district of Seattle called Starbucks Coffee Company.  I was to perform data entry for 2 weeks in the Store Development department.  Oddly enough, that contract was extended for 15 years.

Here's the thing:  My primary focus at that point was to pay off my trip across the country, pay off my college student debt, and to support a burgeoning soccer habit I quickly acquired after joining so many teams that I was playing 4x a week.  I even rode my bike to a local park (Hiawatha Playfield) in West Seattle to scout out a game that was being played.  I saw one team struggling so I rode my bike back to my apartment, found the right color jersey (purple), rode back to the field and asked them if they needed any help during halftime.  I said, "Hey, I've got the right color jersey if you're interested!"  They let me play and I scored a few goals for them.  The next thing I know, they're inviting me to play on their soccer team.  Honestly, it's a very similar story of how I persuaded my beautiful wife, Wendy, to join her team!

I cannot fault Starbucks Coffee Company in the least for giving me a chance, allowing me to develop professional skills, and a space to thrive.  I had a lot to offer as I believe I have a good analytical mind, a strong work ethic (when I wanted to), and a good sense of humor for positive team building and cohesiveness for the most part.  The problem for me professionally is that I was lacking a true sense of purpose for a natural "calling."  The work was challenging and my co-workers were nice enough, but I could never put my finger on what was best for me.  Early on, I figured that making more money and creating a dependable nest egg for retirement was what a professional life was all about.  You climb the corporate ladder to take on more responsibilities and gather more money so that you can support your children and have a comfortable retirement was the goal for your end game.

It wasn't until 2014 and I had achieved the role of IT Project Manager that I realized that I was really unhappy, professionally.  At the time I was running a Starbucks project to overhaul the ENTIRE human resources and payroll system (SAP) where there were a myriad of problems with regard to the technology in which I realized that I needed a break to reevaluate what was important to me.  The project was stressful and I had enough credit built up that I could go on a company sabbatical (6 months would allow you to retain your current job, 1 year would give you "a" job).  I chose a 6 month sabbatical (without pay) to clear my head.  It turns out that it was enough time to make a crack in the golden handcuffs (nice salary, 5x weeks vacation, good stock options) that had kept me at Starbucks for all those years.  I took my 6 month sabbatical and returned to find out that nothing had changed at the company, but I had changed as a person.  There was more to life that I valued which the company couldn't provide for me to be fulfilled as a human.  So I quit.

I took an additional 6 months off to focus on the family and eventually started looking for jobs.  My professional focus shifted to zero in on what was important to me.  I had just finished up a 5th year of coaching my daughter Olivia's soccer team when I saw a posting for a project management position for the Girl Scouts of Western Washington.  I drew some analogies that since I loved coaching girls and saw a huge potential in ensuring that girls deserve as much confidence building and opportunity as boys that this seemed like a natural fit.  I applied and got the job!  Oh boy, what a job that I agreed upon.

Working for a non-profit as a seasoned IT professional is quite the culture shock!  The skilled labor force and the tools you might expect are no longer there so you have to adapt quickly and quietly.  If you do neither, you won't succeed.  Fortunately, I have to admit I had one of the best bosses on the planet who kept me on for 3 years at Girl Scouts.  My fortunes turned when she went on maternity leave and I no longer had "the drive".  It's funny how one person can influence your life in such a profound way.  I began to realize (in her absence) that Project Management just wasn't for me.  Maybe her absence was a blessing.  I just don't know.

I left Girl Scouts in October of 2018 as an active participant in figuring out what was the next best step for me beyond being a stay-at-home dad.  There were no gender stigmatas for me taking on this role and we (Wendy and I) were able to justify it financially so things were comfortable.  The idea struck me that it was the perfect time to perform a summer cross-country road trip since the kids were at a great age (13 & 11).  Why the hell not?  So we did...

For those of you new to this blog, I have documented extensively my 53 day epic adventure with my children across these glorious United States (please see previous entertaining blog posts).  Now we're going to get to the meat and potatoes around why I've decided to make a drastic career change at age 43 and what that career change will be!



 

Epic Summer Trip 2019: Lessons Learned

This is by no means an exhaustive list, but these are some things that I jotted down as I progressed through a 53 day journey across the United States with my two kids, Olivia (13) and Drew (10):  

• Front seat / back seat separation - this is definitely not always possible, but the physical separation between siblings really makes a big difference on tempers and space constraints.  The simple act of "looking" at a sibling can set the other one off.  It also does wonders for the driver's patience and attitude.  
• Use campgrounds with pools/lakes/oceans - Allowing the kids to get some good exercise after a long day of driving is key.  It is a great way to cool off/down and it also allowed me to get some alone time for blogging, etc.  Every KOA states that a parent needs to be present at the pool.  I ignored that rule at every single one.  They only got kicked out once and that's because the pool was closing for the night.  
• Driving a truck & towing a trailer - not always convenient when trying to park, but being able to unload the trailer at the camp site or friend's house and then explore using just the truck created a lot of flexibility.
• Make sure the navigator has their own phone to research rest stops, places of interest, gas stations, etc. while the driver's phone is used for directions (mounted on the dash somehow).  
• Identify which campgrounds have water/electric hookups ahead of time - I wish I had made note of it prior to leaving so I knew if we had to boondock/dry camp at the next stop.  Our trailer has a water well and it makes a difference in weight and performance if you have to fill it up and drive with it.  It also makes a difference if you know you won't be able to charge electronics.
• Make sure tires and batteries are new on your trailer - this was an expensive lesson to learn after our wheel well blow out due to an old tire getting flat and pretty much disintegrating.  A week unexpectedly stuck in Moab, UT is not a great way to start a long road trip while waiting for a poorly communicating mechanic.  
• 50 cent laundry bags from the dollar store - everyone gets one and it helps separate the dirty clothes from the clean clothes.  It also really gives you a good sense of how much time you have left before having to do laundry again.  
• Don’t put food and laundry detergent next to the wheel well - if you have a tire blow out and it takes out the wheel well, expect the carnage to become like a giant food processor.  The smell is terrible (especially in 100 degree heat) and the mess is even worse.  
• Don’t worry about over packing - you're really not saving a bunch of money in gas mileage and you'll never know what will come in handy.  I pretty much used everything I packed with the exception of warm clothes, a blow-up rowboat, the nice camera, and the GoPro.  I could have easily used the last three, though.
• Don't regret not seeing everyone and everything - You can only do and see so much.  Yeah, I wish that I had time to see more people when I was in my hometown and I missed out on some sites, but I also had the attitude that it's OK.  I'll always come back to my hometown at some point and it was really more important for the kids to experience a little bit of everything.  Hey, it might set up another adventure down the road!
• AC is a must - I wrote an entire blog post on air conditioning and how dependent we have become on it.  AC makes a huge difference, though, especially for a driver who needs good rest.  Spending time outside in the sweltering heat (whether it's dry heat or a muggy mess) and coming in to a nice cool trailer is like an pleasant oasis.  
• Take plenty of pictures and back them up regularly - it's OK to be an obnoxious tourist sometimes.  I made sure my phone was handy for really quick pics whenever the opportunity presented itself.  The trick is to ask the kids to pose and take the picture VERY fast.  Don't linger on making it the perfect shot.  They'll thank you for it and won't try to get even with you by making ugly faces.  Pose, click, and move on.  
• Make sure you have plenty of storage on your phone or backing up to the "cloud".  It's extremely frustrating when things stop working correctly because you're constantly getting a message of "You can't do ___ because your storage is full."
• Keep vehicle and camper tidy all the time.  Messes are hard to navigate when you're in tight quarters.  I demanded the kids clean up their space (truck or trailer) when arriving or leaving an area.  All of Drew's stuff were once literally thrown out of the truck when I had to wade through his things to get under the seat.  
• 1/2 hour of reading = 1 hour screen time (or any ratio you think is appropriate).  I wish I had implemented this rule earlier and the kids really took to it.  Drew watched WAY too many movies during travel time.  
• Have swim gear and towels handy at all times - I kept a bag in the back seat next to the cooler for quick access.  The kids knew where it was and could hit the pool/lake/ocean immediately upon arriving at a location.  
• Clothespins - I bought 50 or so to hang towels & swimsuits 1/2 way through the trip.  I should have packed them early on.  SO handy when the wind picks up and you're drying clothes.  Also great as food clips.
• Tie-down straps - So handy for putting up the hammock without damaging trees, but ultimately used for clotheslines.  Easy to set up, take down, and adjust.  Just useful for anything you may need to hold down as well.  
• How to battle condensation in camper - I never figured this one out.  When the temperature is different outside the camper vs. inside the camper, all of the metal attract's moisture which can make it very humid inside.  Wet clothes you may be hanging inside rarely dry out.  My buddy Keith mentioned that there are disposable camping dehumidifiers you can buy, but I never looked into it.  
• If you’re not a photographer, a smart phone works great!  I brought a nice camera and didn't use it once for pictures.  The ease of use of just pulling the phone out of your pocket rather than hauling around a large camera is worth the degradation of photo quality.  You're still getting really good pics along with video, etc.  with a smart phone.  You can also instantly send to friends/family.   
• Have backup maps for areas with bad cell service - I primarily used my smartphone GPS for getting places.  The only problem is when you're in a remote spot and have to plot out the next day's location.  If you don't have any service, no bueno.  A back up map of the state is good.  You can also plan ahead and plot out the next day's location ahead of time and just keep the GPS function on the entire time.
• Memory foam mattresses for a good night sleep. Especially for driver. Good pillows also.
• Don’t really plan more than where you’re staying that night. Let the adventures come to you. This totally depends on the type of adventure you're planning, but our journey was to simply explore 'the tip of the iceberg' in most places.  It can get stressful when you have a ton of plans for the day and you feel like you need to do all of them.  Setting expectations too high is no way to enjoy a vacation.  Some of the best days of the trip were when an unexpected adventure just formulated.  The excitement was truly sincere for everyone.  
• 7 pairs of clothes are enough - It's a cost/benefit of how much clothes you want to haul around vs. how much time you want to spend washing them.  
• When planning the trip, the options are almost overwhelming - If you have a couple of destinations in mind when planning the trip, use them and start planning around it.  It makes it easier to put a couple of stakes in the ground and figuring out how to work around them.
• Take care of your phone. It’s important.
• Don’t over plan on meals especially if you’re not over planning on your day.  This probably goes against every fiber of my mother's being, but planning every meal reduces your flexibility and makes you miss out on some really good spontaneous food that you may come across.  
• Eating out for lunch is less expensive than dinner and you generally get a better local cuisine for lunch when trying out restaurants or local eateries.  
• Bring a room freshener or spray for the camper especially if you have sleeping mouth breathers.  You don't realize how stinky it gets in the camper until you get up in the morning to go to the bathroom and come back into the camper.  Phew.
• KOA campgrounds are great for in and out camping to minimize set up and breakdown of camp.  The drawback is that they are basically glorified parking lots.  Most have pools, though.  
• Go out of the way to meet people. Especially friends you haven’t seen in a long time. You won’t be disappointed.  School friends are typically not the same people they were in school and you certainly aren't either.  Interact with them as they are now and not as they were when you knew them as a teenager or child.
• Mix up your locations between visiting friends/relatives and staying by yourself.  Sometimes you need a little human interaction other than your 'little humans' and sometimes you just don't feel like entertaining.  A good mix will keep you energized with both.  
• Don’t feel stupid about asking stupid questions. People love to talk about where they live or what they know.  Ignorance isn't a bad thing as long as you have a desire to know more.  It also throws away many of your preconceptions about an area.  Locals aren't always experts, but they'll be happy to tell you there interpretation of what it's like living in their area.  You sometimes gain more knowledge than simply going to the local museum.  
• Try new things if you get a chance - whether it's food, music, culture, etc.  Go in with an open mind and heart, because most of the time you'll be pleasantly surprised about what you find.  
• Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young Pandora radio station (road trip music) - I started listening to this within the first couple days and used this station up through the last day.  It's just good, chill music for getting lost in your thoughts while driving and definitely keeps the stress down.  
• Have children tell you that they have to pee well in advance before it becomes an emergency.  You're not always going to get this one right, but establish the ground rules in advance.  
• Look out the window to see things - the driver has no choice, but I can't count the number of times where I saw something and told the kids, but they were wrapped up on a device with headphones on.  By the time they said, "Huh?" it was already too late.
• Make eye contact more and say hi to strangers - you'll never know what you'll learn or what relationship may be created.  It is also fascinating watching how people react to a greeting. 
• Always help a neighbor out at a campground.  You'll never know if they'll be nice enough to let you borrow their ATV!
• Don't force yourself to feel like an epic adventure will be life altering prior to the trip.  Self fulfillment and happiness will creep up on you gradually and will change you without you even realizing it.  I have already begun to change my behaviors interacting with neighbors, relatives, friends, etc.  We're only on this planet for a short amount of time so there is no reason to hide yourself from others.  Humans are communal creatures and get self-fulfillment through interacting with each other.  People are typically kind and generous by nature and need a reason to be otherwise.  

  

  Great Salt Lake, Utah

Epic Summer Road Trip 2019 (Day 50 - 53): Montana & Homeward Bound Part II

Once I had gassed up the truck outside of Phillpsburg, we made our way out to Missoula and traveled south to the small town of Lolo which has one of the few recorded camps of Lewis & Clark.  Drew was so excited to see his childhood friend, Eli, that he could hardly contain himself.  His entire trip was nearly centered around this visit!  When we arrived, Patrick was busy cementing posts for the chicken coop before a rainstorm approached through the valley.  Patrick, Charity, Micah (12), Eli (10) and Judah (5) live on the side of Blue Mountain overlooking part of the Bitterroot Valley with plenty of space and beautiful Montana sky.  Along with numerous chickens and other various pets, they see plenty of wildlife regularly on their property.  Drew and Eli have been friends since before they began kindergarten together back when I coached them both in soccer.  Charity shared with me that Eli was very nervous on the first day of school and I helped ease his discomfort by welcoming him when I saw him come in.  I'm sure I did it to help Drew's discomfort by pointing out a friend, but Charity was grateful.

The Parenzin's are wonderful hosts by filling our bellies with each meal and letting the kids run rampant throughout the property.  What a great place to raise a family!  After dinner the first night, we sat outside by the fire pit, cooked s'mores, and watched the stars come out while discussing pretty much every topic under the cool summer sky.  Drew opted to sleep with the boys while Olivia took the guest house (apartment above the garage) and I slept in the Aliner.

Iphone survived a dip in the drink

The next morning, the adults enjoyed drinking coffee and talking in the screened in back porch while the kids slowly meandered down from their places of slumber.  After breakfast, Patrick, Eli, Drew, Judah, and I headed out to go fishing in the Bitterroot River while Charity, Micah and Olivia did some grocery shopping in Missoula.  The hike down to the river included some steep terrain and numerous mosquito bites before we found a good spot to hunt for trout.  Drew and I split up so that I could teach Drew some spin casting and not scare the fish for the others.
In the process of walking out on a fallen tree that spanned the river for a better casting spot, I managed to skip off and fully submerge under the water.  Everything went under including my brand new iPhone that I had purchased a few weeks ago in Erie, PA after it had been run over by multiple vehicles leaving the beach.  FORTUNATELY, the phone survived and continues to work to this day!  Phew.  I don't know how I was going to explain that to Wendy!  The fish weren't really biting so the boys started wading into the water to hunt for crayfish and do a good job at scaring fish away from poor Patrick who continued to seek out the elusive trout.  Pretty soon the sky turned a very dark color and I managed to persuade Patrick to high-tail it out of there, though he was caught up in 'fishing-mode'.  We got back to the truck just in time as a huge monsoon of a storm swept through the valley with winds strong enough to push the truck around while driving back.
We ate a late lunch after drying off and closing open windows on the house and camper that had let in rain from the storm.  Charity, Micah and Olivia eventually got back from shopping and a stop at the Humane Society to drool over cute little puppies.  Delicious lasagna for a late dinner, card games, and more delightful conversation ended out the evening before everyone became exhausted and went to bed.
We packed up our stuff the next day after Patrick made a 16 egg dutch baby in a cast iron skillet that was big enough to cook a real baby if one was so inclined.  Yum!  Drew was pretty bummed about leaving, but we were in the home stretch with only one more night away from home.  Next stop:  Spokane.
The plan was to stop over at our good friends' Kris and Keith Becker's house for the night.  We were running a little early since Kris and Keith had to work and it would put our ETA well in advance of them getting home.  We crossed into the panhandle of Idaho and I saw this cute little town off to the west of the highway called Wallace.  Wallace is an active mining town and used to be a train stop at the turn of the century which even had a visit from Teddy Roosevelt!  I asked the woman at the train station museum why on earth Roosevelt would stop here and she basically said that it was to get campaign funds since it was a very rich town at the time.  It is a typical old western mining town in the middle of the mountains with plenty of bars and shops lining the streets on both sides.  We were just a little bit early for the Huckleberry Festival that takes place on the 3rd weekend in August each year.  The kids enjoyed the train station museum along with a couple of milkshakes from one of the shops.  I mentioned the stop to Keith and he said that Wallace was also well known for it's brothels back in the day.

By mid-afternoon, we pulled into Spokane and unhooked the Aliner at the Beckers before heading out to the grocery store to buy make dinner for everyone.  Kris and Keith were in full work-week mode so were more than happy for us to make them dinner and enjoy some down time.  It was a quick visit and we were out of the house by 8am the next morning.
The drive to Seattle from Spokane is about 4.5 hours from Seattle, but the pull to get home was strong in all of us considering this was the last stretch of our trip.  All of us were so anxious to get home and it was killing us to see all of the familiar sites between the two cities that we know pretty well from making that journey.  The traffic was terrible (as always) once we arrived in the Seattle area even at 1pm in the afternoon.  It felt so good to finally arrive at the house and give the dog a heart attack.  What an adventure.  I know that this trip has changed my life and I can only hope that it's given the kids some different perspectives about life outside of our little world here in Seattle.

Columbia River gorge

Epic Summer Road Trip 2019 (Day 50 - 53): Montana & Homeward Bound Part I

Without saying "hello" or "goodbye" to Yellowstone NP, we started our journey after enjoying blueberry pancakes and some hash browns which had been small potatoes from the meal the previous night.  The plan that day was to travel out to a little town just south of Missoula, Montana called Lolo to visit our friends Charity and Patrick Parenzin who had moved out there the previous year or so from Seattle.

We drove on I-90 for our first extended trip using that road as we had previously stuck to back highways which had made the route more scenic and quiet.  You can still usually drive about 70 mph on the back roads which keeps your pace moving along, but you usually don't have the luxury of cell service or regular gas stations which could put you in a pickle if you happen to have a problem.  As long as you plan ahead, my recommendation is to take back roads.  Being able to drive through some of these small, rural towns along with seeing indigenous wildlife gives you a better sense of what life is like out in the country.  We slowly drove by a herd of cattle that had gotten out of their fence and watched the ranchers drive quads (ATVs) to round them up.  Modern day cowboys.  That is something you won't see while driving on an interstate.  

Downtown Philipsburg

At Rt 1 near Anaconda, MT we hopped off the interstate and listened to the radio (I couldn't use Pandora anymore as I had used up my T-Mobile roaming data) when the DJ started advertising for a band which would be playing in a historic theatre in town.  I think it was a radio station from Butte so it was pretty cool to hear about an event that was taking place in the small town we were currently driving through!  The reason why we hopped off the freeway was to visit an old Starbucks co-worker of mine, Gina Vale, who lives in Philipsburg.  Gina reached out to me via Facebook when I was planning the trip and gave me a bunch of recommendations to see as I drove through Montana.  We unsuccessfully tried to drive to a place called Ringing Rocks outside of Whitewall, MT under Gina's direction, but it was too rough to drive for us dragging a camper.  Apparently, you can knock on different rocks and they emit unique sounds depending on which rock you strike.  I'm bummed we missed out.

Having fun at the Law Enforcement Museum

Now, Gina has lived quite an eventful life since leaving Starbucks in 2008.  Her and her then-boyfriend stumbled upon Philipsburg on a road trip and completely fell in love with the town.  When Starbucks went through a round of layoffs in 2008, she was already planning on moving out to P-burg and so she volunteered to be laid off in order to save another co-worker's job.  Starbucks gave her  a decent severance package which allowed her to move out there and take a year off before eventually looking for a job.  She and her boyfriend-soon-to-be-husband purchased a house for only TENS of thousands of dollars and settled in as locals.  Unfortunately, Gina's husband passed away a few years ago, but she was able to find solace and community by working at the local brewery.  The beer didn't necessarily bring her therapy, but the human connection with patrons and staff certainly did and she was able to get through some rough times.  I'm not quite sure when, but Gina inherited some land from her uncle in Minnesota which she really had no interest in keeping so she sold it and bought a large parcel outside of P-burg which included a cabin with no utilities, an old saloon (not in use), and an ENTIRE GHOST TOWN!  Yes, Gina owns a ghost town.  

About four years ago, all of the staff at the local library quit after the mayor started asking questions about improvements to the library so the town was left without a librarian.  Gina decided to step up and is now the town librarian.  The library recently received a HUGE grant from a local resident so Gina is currently in the process of expanding the building and the library facilities.  It is a match made in heaven since Gina was a buyer at Starbucks in the Store Development department and has extensive knowledge of building construction and design.  If you're ever in Philipsburg, MT make sure to visit the library and give the librarian a hug from me.

Mining for Sapphires

Now, Philipsburg is quite an intriguing place.  This western town is a bustling hub as the county seat with every storefront being used and heavy traffic from tourists and locals.  With all due respect, it shouldn't be very prosperous since the main industries are ranching, tourism, and a little bit of mining.  Most of the mines dried up at the turn of the 20th century and P-burg could easily be a ghost town today if not for a few stubborn locals.  The local music festival sold nearly 5000 tickets!  The town has a very famous candy shop, a cool sapphire you-mine store, and, of course, a town library.  We enjoyed local BBQ and Gina gave us a tour around town where she's referred to as the "library lady".
Gina took us to the local sapphire mining shop where we were greeted by the 13 year old running the place let us mine for sapphires by sifting through rocks.  He showed us the technique and we used tweezers to pull out little sapphire stones.  This boy only has 7 kids in his 8th grade class and all of them are boys.  There used to be two girls, but they both moved.  I'm pretty sure I know why.  Two of the sapphires we pulled out were large enough that they could actually be baked and cut if we so desired.  The candy store was closed that day, but it really didn't matter.  Philipsburg is truly is a gem of a town - pun intended.   

Off to Lolo, MT!

Epic Summer Road Trip 2019 (Day 48 & 49): Big Horn National Forest & a non-visit to Yellowstone

We departed Devil’s Tower a little later than intended since the kids had stayed up late and I needed to give them some much needed rest.  I wandered around the KOA looking for the wireless router so that I could upload some pictures to the blog.  I swear, it takes more time to manage the pictures and get everything organized than it does to actually write stuff down!  After the first of the Harley’s started crackling through the day’s early light, I decided to wake up the kids and make breakfast.  I was a little bit worried because the truck had told me that I only had 66 miles worth of gas left in the tank and I still had to drive about 32 miles to get to the next best gas station. 

We set out and immediately had to climb some knarly hills in order to get out of Devil’s Tower.  I kept a close eye on the gas and we were able to make it to the gas station with about 16 miles left!  Pulling a trailer laden with water for the next night certainly impacts your gas mileage!  The drive outside of Gillette, WY heading east quickly became pretty flat and boring.  If you’re not driving on gravel roads, pretty much all of the back country paved roads allow you to go 70 mph except when you hit a town “population: three digits” and have to slow down to 45 mph for a fraction of a second.  Along the way you’re passing pastures of cows along with long swaths of uncultivated land that periodically contain pronghorns and deer grazing on the hillside. 

After a few hours of driving, we made it to Dayton (not Ohio), WY to stop for our last tank of gas and some groceries before heading up through the Big Horn Mountain Range.  This range isn’t too long and is, in fact, fairly narrow to get over, but it sure is steep!  As you drive up, there are signs that tell you the type of rock that you’re passing along with how old it is.  All I worried about was the engine on the truck wouldn’t blow up after sitting at 5K RPMs for an extended amount of time as well as that small problem of driving over the edge!  After miles and miles of steep 10% grade switchbacks, we finally crested the top at about 8500 feet.  It is like another world on top of this range!  The temperature dropped about 20 degrees, but it is beautiful high desert complete with tall pines and huge valleys.   

We made it to our campground called Porcupine Campground which is located pretty much in the middle of the surrounding National Forest.  I quickly realized that it is one of the most freeing places I have ever been too.  You’re pretty much allowed to explore anywhere you want to and much of the land is navigable, because you can see for miles around with only high desert to traverse.  The wildlife is everywhere and the streams are abundant with native trout.  My kind of place!  The locals leave an RV unhitched and unattended on the side of the dirt road back into the woods a little way.  I’m pretty sure they’re left there during the week so the owners can come up during the weekend to camp, hunt, or just explore. 

As I had the kids begin to set up camp, a neighboring camper stopped over and asked if I could help him unload his cooler from the back of his truck.  Craig and Jean were here from Billings, MT and had already spent about a week up here and were enjoying retirement along with some friends that periodically came and went from the campground.  They had just made a grocery trip and I was the lucky guy who was asked to help unload their heavy cooler.  As we carried the cooler, I told them where we were from along with the details of our trip thus far.  After introductions with everyone, I showed Craig the map inside our camper which plots out our route and he was impressed.  I then asked Craig if he knew how far it was to Porcupine Falls since the falls were prominently displayed on the campsite’s website when I originally made the reservation.  He told me the trailhead was about 4 miles down the way on a dirt road and my truck would have no problem making it there. 

At this point, Craig looked at us and thought for a second before saying, “Would you be interested in borrowing one of our ATVs and taking the kids to the trailhead?”  The look on Drew’s face was absolutely priceless!  The ATV was large enough to hold all three of us riding in tandem and the only concern was that there were no helmets.  Wendy would definitely not approve, but Wendy wasn’t here. 😊  Obviously, I was going to drive under control since there were no helmets, it wasn’t our ATV, and I was carrying the kids.  Off we went after a quick tutorial of the controls!  Drew commented that this day was the best day of the trip so far.  He is easily pleased when it comes to vehicle and devices he’s not normally allowed to operate.  Pretty much like any boy.

We made it down to Porcupine Falls trailhead after only one wrong turn and a little back tracking.  Olivia even spotted a bear, but upon closer inspection Drew and I laughed after the animal turned out to be a cow.  “It yawned and I saw lots of teeth!” was her excuse.  The hike down to the falls was quick, but I hadn’t realized that it was so steep.  Of course, Olivia was only wearing sandals and she got some curious looks from some other hikers that we passed along the way.  Oh well, we made it.  The falls were beautiful, but we only stayed for a brief time as I noticed some dark clouds rolling in.  Since we were at high elevation, the hike back up the trail had us huffing and puffing just as it started to sprinkle.  We hopped back on the ATV and made it back to the campsite after dodging raindrops the entire way.  Apparently, it had down poured at the campground while we were out and so Craig was surprised that we were still relatively dry.  We thanked him profusely and headed back to the campsite for hotdogs, edamame, and rice to warm us up.  After dinner we had fun walking around the countryside and exploring a bit before crawling into the camper for some sleep.

The next morning, I had a stomach ache so we all agreed to break down camp and leave relatively early for our next stop outside of Livingston, MT.  It certainly didn’t help driving down the western side of the mountain range with a 10% steep grade with switchbacks and curves.  My stomach was certainly churning!  I promised the kids that we would stop at a diner as soon as we arrived at the nearest town to eat, but the towns on Rt 14 are pretty small.  The only spots were bar & grills with casinos and we didn’t find anything until driving all the way to I-90.  It was basically lunchtime before we found a roadside café where we scarfed down a meal, before making our way to Livingston. 

We arrived at our KOA which is about 10 miles south of Livingston and about 40 miles north of Yellowstone National Park.  I have no regrets being 40 miles away from Yellowstone and not visiting the park.  I made a rule long ago that I will never visit Yellowstone again in the summer due to the crowds, traffic jams, and just masses of humanity in general.  The kids played in the pool while I did a couple of much needed loads of laundry.  It was a low-key evening where I made dinner while the kids played games inside the camper while we listened to a rainstorm pass through outside.  Every time it rains, I tell the kids, “I sure am glad we’re not in a tent!”  That night we walked to the pavilion and enjoyed a $2 ice cream social put on by the KOA staff every Friday and Saturday night.